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A Sunday Morning in the Life
of Jenn Young
by Jenn Young, teen writer
It's a peaceful Sunday morning; the birds
are singing, the sun is shining over a
serene and lovely world.
Suddenly, the stillness is broken by a
piercing scream. In a little room in a
little house in a little town, Jenn Young
reels backwards, clutching her nose. She
glowers at the again-motionless form of her
sister. "Em, it's Sunday. Get up." (Silence)
"Em, it's Sunday, and CHURCH STARTS IN
FIFTEEN MINUTES! GET YOUR BONES OUT OF BED!"
(More silence) Jenn makes an attractively
Orc-ish sound, and stomps out of the room,
slamming the door hard enough to cause a
serious seismic disruption.
Welcome to "A Sunday Morning in the Life of
Jenn Young"; fasten your seatbelt; please
keep hands and feet inside at all times.
After this weak attempt at helping her
family get ready for church, Jenn gives up
and goes downstairs to get herself ready. By
the time she comes back upstairs there will
be a heap of mis-matched shoes in the
entryway. There will be a minimum of three
kids who need help to get their hair combed
and their shoes on. Em will still not be
fully awake.
And that's just the beginning.
Let's skip ahead to Church; the Youngs will
tiptoe (well, some of them will tiptoe,
anyway) into the overflow as the sacrament
hymn is being sung. Jenn will find the page
just as the last verse is being finished.
The deacons stand up, and the priests begin
to bless the sacrament. Joseph will be
reading his science book and (note that the
prayer is still being said) will ask
something like, "What kind of cell is
this?", or "That's a skeleton!" Jenn is
sinking down in her seat, but if you look
very closely you can see the top of her
head.
The prayer ends, and the bread comes around.
"You took my piece!" "Joshua took two
pieces!" "…Mom, why is Jenn hiding under the
seat?"
The water is blessed. "You can see that
girl's intestines!" (Jenn quietly dislikes
the publishers of Joseph's science book.)
The next few minutes are uneventful, other
than the soothing and rhythmic sound of
Jacob dropping a 50¢ piece on his metal
chair. This gives Jenn a false sense of
security, and she comes out from under the
chair. As luck (or the Overperson of Irony
and Cruel Fates*) would have it, this
emergence exactly coincides with Jacob
dropping the stack of hymnbooks he was
making. Understand that the Youngs aren't on
the traditional carpet, but on a hardwood
floor in a very echo-y gym.
Back under the chair.
Jenn's view from under the chair is actually
quite interesting, defying all common sense
and perhaps a few laws of physics. She could
tell you, for instance, that Esther and
Joseph are headed toward the stage. She
could also speak at length about the lack of
space under fold-up chairs. And the inherent
badness of people who leave their old gum on
chairs. Those are subjects she feels
strongly about.
Jenn is just mentally composing a petition
concerning the banishment of gum when her
father's foot comes dangerously near her
fingers. She yanks her hand back under the
chair, and watches as her dad finally takes
her beloved siblings out into the hall.
Jenn makes a few attempts at getting out
from under the chair. "Um…a little help
here?"
Parting is such sweet sorrow, dear readers.
I am going now…. I bid you all a very fond
farewell. And stop laughing, this
stuck-under-a-chair thing is no laughing
matter. Goodbye.
Cheerfully and with great (er, compromised)
grace,
Jenn Young
*"Overperson of Irony and Cruel Fates"
belongs to me, but if you want it, take it
and welcome. Think of it as an Old Man
Trouble with a warped sense of humor.
This article was originally published
in
"Behind the Curtain," for the Utah Home
Education Association newsletter, 2003.
Copyright School of Abraham.
Used with permission.
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