Socialization

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What is this "Socialization" You Speak Of?

(Or: Fish Don't Need Bicycles)
by Jenn Young

May 2003

This column is dedicated to my Teacher Dearest, Ms. Sorenson.

The object of teaching a child is to enable the child to get along without the teacher. We need to educate our children for their future, not our past.
~ Arthur C. Clarke ~

Socialize [verb]: To socialize people or animals is to train them to behave in a way that others in the group think is suitable.
(Cambridge University Press, 2003)

The above definition of socialization presents an interesting choice of words, dictionary fans. Train people? Train PEOPLE?!

Let's get one thing straight: I have nothing against potty training. However, beyond that…I'm going to go stiff and formal, and say, "I prefer the term 'teach' ".

The above definition made me think of Pavlov's famous experiment. It conjures up vivid and horrifying pictures of PTA meetings:

Concerned Parent 1: We need to train our children to scorn and mock homeschoolers.

Concerned Parent 2: Yes. Perhaps if we showed them pictures of homeschoolers holding books…

Concerned Parent 1:…And we gave the pictures captions with polysyllabic words…

Concerned Parent 2: …Then the negative association would be enough…

Anyway. Enough with the evil-teen public-school bashing. I'm going to be nice from now on. …um, what's that about crossed fingers?

Now, the second part of the definition, I'm terribly afraid, is going to give me nightmares tonight (cue: Twilight Zone theme music):

Socialization: "to train them to behave in a way that others in the group think is suitable" [emphasis added]

If that's the definition of socialization, (and it is certainly what goes on in our beloved public schools) then I'm taking my kids and moving to Madeira Island. Yes, I realize this process could be impeded by the fact that I don't have any kids. But WHEN I do, they're going to grow up on Madeira Island.

Now I'm going to contradict quite a bit of what I just said, which will either clear up confusion, or cause even more confusion.

We (humans in general) are social creatures. And there are some socially unacceptable behaviors that should be unacceptable; for instance, those that violate our basic rights: theft, murder, mayhem, etc. But these behaviors are not what goes on in public schools (ahem, well, yes, but that is a subject for another column). That's not what people ask about when they refer to socialization.

What people are asking, whether they know it or not, when they inquire about "socialization," is: "Don't you want your children to grow up obsessing about fads? Don't you want your children to sneak out of the house to see forbidden movies? Don’t you want your children to lie to you? Don't you want your sons to grow up with inferiority complexes? That's what's normal! There must be something wrong with you if you don't want your children to be normal…" (What soapbox?)

A sense of curiosity is nature's original school of education.
~ Smiley Blanton ~

Let us examine for just a moment just what it is that is taught in the public school system under the guise of socialization. In the book Modern Education and the Mass Marketing of Children, the seven lessons of school teaching are identified as "confusion, class position, indifference, emotional and intellectual dependency, conditional self-esteem, and surveillance." Wow, now that really makes me want to catch up on what I'm missing! Yeah, right. Bear with me now, the book further postulates that "all of these lessons are prime training for permanent underclasses, people deprived forever of finding the center of their own special genius." OK, if you didn't catch that one first time around, read it again, or ask your parents about economics.

I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays, and have things arranged for them, that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas.
~ Agatha Christie ~

John Taylor Gatto, in "The Six Lesson Schoolteacher" further defines the real lessons of public school institutionalization, I mean, the institution of public school. He identifies these six important lessons as:

Stay in class where you belong.
Turn [your brain] on and off like a light switch.
Surrender your will to a predestined chain of command.
Only I [the teacher] determine what curriculum you will study.
Your self-respect should depend on an observer's measure of your worth (Ed: whether objective or not, I would imagine)
You are being watched.

I've seen what happens when a child is not successfully assimilated (resistance is futile)—erm, I mean, when a child is not successfully taught to sit down, shut up, and not get caught cheating. I've seen what happens—I've been called to the front of the classroom (in front of the whole class) and yelled at because my handwriting wasn't neat. (My typing isn't very neat right now, either…Thinking of this, six years later, I still get so angry my hands start shaking.)

I'm still the only person in my Sunday School class who can read well.

I'm still the only person in my Sunday School class who studies history for fun. (And also, very likely, the only one to proclaim her everlasting hatred for Oliver Cromwell. May Saint Patrick haunt him for all eternity.)

And, admittedly, I am still the only person in my class with completely illegible handwriting. I feel I was called to be a doctor. Anyway...

Who decides the age or under what circumstances a child becomes an adult responsible for his own education? Must he kill a hungry lion with his bare hands or pass a government High Stakes Test? And when he is a child, who should decide what is best for him, his parents or the state? ~ Dale Reed ~

As you might have noticed, I've been working with the dictionary definition of socialization. But what people are really thinking when they bring up "socialization" is:

"Won't they ever have any friends?"

"Do you really think that you have the talent to teach your children?"

"Besides, think of all the downsides to homeschooling!"

"Think of all the things they have to learn!"

"They may be forced to talk to someone not of their age group!"

"They'll have the opportunity to go to the bathroom without asking!" (We have to curb those rebellious tendencies.)

"They'll actually"—furtive look around—"go to the library and get out books on things that interest them!" (That's right, they don't let total strangers decide what they study!)

"They'll put almost no stock in IQ scores!"

"They'll subscribe to the barbarous belief that tests don't rule the universe!" The horror!

"They'll actually question the Almighty Principles that are taught on TV shows!

"They may not even watch TV, if you can imagine!"

"They won't ever have the need to 'Just Say No' to drugs!"

With all these irrefutable arguments against homeschooling, it's hard to believe anyone goes to public school.

This is my oh-so-humble opinion. Accept it or don’t. But I have been in public school, and as far as I'm concerned, there is no worse way to prepare a child for society than to send him to a public school. Unless you live in a highly unusual state, life does not mirror public school. Can't you just see companies giving their employees standardized tests? Publishing the results? They wouldn't have any employees left!

Well, fine, there's no escape from lousy cafeteria food. (Airline food, anyone?) But other than that, I mean.

My idea of education is to unsettle the minds of the young and inflame their intellects. ~ Robert Maynard Hutchins ~

People are concerned about homeschoolers not having any friends. All right then. Completely hypothetically, let's say there was a building. Inside of the building were a bunch of early-teen-years aged children. Now, these children weren't allowed to talk to each other, oh no. (Sit down, shut up, and cheat without being caught, remember?) In fact, there were penalties for talking to each other without the permission of the almighty-king/queen figure, I mean, teacher.

"Class change lasts 300 seconds to keep promiscuous fraternization at low levels. Students are encouraged to tattle on each other, even to tattle on their parents"*

You can just see how that might promote friendships, can'tcha?

I say this with total respect to the people who are so worried about my future: "You're being dumb". If you remembered what public school was like you would already be on your way to Madeira Island.

A child needs public school socialization like a fish needs a bicycle.

And lest I forget, there are some who believe that intellectual development is actually important and vital to survival in today's international economy. In the fine tradition of radical thinkers throughout history, some outspoken folks at a school back east somewhere actually composed a Useful List of Things to Learn. And since I actually like these ideas, I'll share them with you. But before you go too far afield, and want to shout out loud from the rooftops or something, pause to consider what would happen if today's students actually believed and adopted these Useful Ideas. Can you imagine the chaos that would surround our underpaid public school teachers?

In publishing this Useful List of Things to Learn, these people warned that traditional "academic classes and professional credentials would count for less and less when measured against real world training," and that, therefore, these Useful Things should be considered fundamental to our continuing prosperity and contentment:

The ability to define problems without a guide.
The ability to ask hard questions which challenge prevailing assumptions.
The ability to work in teams without guidance.
The ability to work absolutely alone.
The ability to persuade others that your course is the right one.
The ability to discuss issues and techniques in public with an eye to reaching decisions about policy.
The ability to conceptualize and reorganize information into new patterns.
The ability to pull what you need quickly from masses of irrelevant data.
The ability to think inductively, deductively, and dialectically. (Define these by Tuesday, please)
The ability to attack problems heuristically (which means "exploratory, self-educating problem-solving techniques which improve performance" -- yes, I had to look it up)

Odd place, that Harvard University.

I am going now . . . I bid you all a very fond farewell.

Cheerfully and with great grace,

Jenn Young