January 2003
by Jenn Young
Of Midis and Real Life
I’ve lost lots of things, but I miss my mind the most.
I don't know why I downloaded the midi. (A midi is a music file you can download off the Internet.) I knew it would be depressing; I just didn't know how depressing—I have, however, learned something: I've been playing my sixteenth notes far too slowly.
Confused? Of course you are. I set a goal to learn to play the whole of Moonlight Sonata (by Beethoven) in six months; I thought that would be enough time. Now I'm trying to figure out if I should triple the time, or only double it. Because, as I said, I downloaded a midi of the Sonata.
Oops. That was…discouraging.
I'm still learning to play the first movement, and that is almost laughably simple compared to what I'm facing in the future. I foresee months of getting frustrated and throwing my music book across the room. I can tell you right now that I will be banging on the piano a lot. Not as in playing, as in crashing my fist down on the keys. (No, I don't have a bad temper at ALL. Whatever gave you that idea?)
But I will learn to play it. Someday, no telling when or how, I will learn to play it.
I've gotten this habit recently: I keep setting goals. (I will learn to sew clothes, I will learn French, I will read The Complete Novels of Jane Austen, I will finish writing this column before 11:46 PM the night it's due …though that one's been looking pretty iffy.)
Quick, name something you want to accomplish. (If you can't think of anything, kindly spend some time pondering whether your life is taking you toward a fulfilling career at Dairy Queen.) We're going to assume you said, "I want to start a national campaign for promotion of homeschooling, which will result in homeschoolers becoming a majority." The first thing you do is call the nearest mental institution and request that they lock you up, as you are apparently complete and 100% insane. No, ignore that. The first thing you do is what you just did—recognize that you want to do this. (Don't let anyone stop you—even delusional people deserve a chance to achieve their goals.)
Alright. We've established that you want to advance homeschooling, preferably without being maimed by public school teachers. Now you write it down; get a sheet of paper and write boldly across the top, "I want to endorse homeschooling on a nation-wide scale, reveal shocking facts about public schools, causing many concerned parents to take their children out of school."
Stop. Look. And think. Why do you want to do this? Is it to prove that you have incredible powers of persuasion? To get your in-laws off your back? To show up that rude lady who works at the elementary school? To confirm that, yes, you're really serious about this whole crazy homeschooling thing? Write it down! Write it all down. Your in-laws won't see it, so come right out and say that their anti-homeschooling attitude is driving you to distraction.
Okay. Now that we've revealed your ulterior motives, let's list some benefits of achieving your goal. Well, obviously, it will embarrass your children so badly that they'll stay in the house 24/7. There goes the necessity of curfews. You can casually drop your packet of pro-homeschooling literature on the rude secretary's desk. It might even help with the in-law situation—how, I'm not really sure.
Now you're ready to go right out and start speaking to people on street corners. Slow down, put the paper down, breathe.
This is the less fun part of the goal-setting process, I know. But it must be done. So come, let us list things that could actually prevent you from reaching your goal. Well, in this case, that would be…just about everything. But specifically, in-laws (they just keep coming up, don't they?) the fact that people are programmed from kindergarten to hate homeschooling, the reality that the laws in some states are startlingly oppressive, not to mention…you get the picture. Next to your list of potential difficulties (you did make one, right?) list some possible solutions. I'm stuck here, the problems I listed seem to be fairly unsolvable. So be more creative than I. Start listing solutions.
Let's see. We've got, "I want to endorse homeschooling on a nation-wide scale, reveal shocking facts about public schools, causing many concerned parents to take their children out of school," we've got why, we've got what could stop you. What about…how?
Aha. I very distinctly hear the sound of shocked silence.
Obviously, you can't start by being on national TV. Start small, e.g. "Hand out anti-public-school literature in my neighborhood," or "Give my talk in church on why public school is evil…dodge missiles from audience." Then build up—"Send my husband the health inspector to check the public school's air quality. Publish the results in the newspaper."
Deadline. Even the word sounds ominous, doesn't it? (Or is that just my writer's instinct? Nah, I think 'deadline' has a distinctly threatening sound. I mean, come on, dead-line…ahem. Ignore this.) However, this is a very necessary part of goal-setting. (Notice that my sample goal—the one we've been discussing all this time—has no time limit. This is because I don't believe it will be achieved in this life…isn't my confidence overwhelming?) It is much more likely that a goal with a time limit will be achieved in a reasonable amount of time. Or achieved at all, actually.
Think about it: Someday I'm going to return the movies to the library, vs. I am going to take the movies back to the library before the end of the day. Neither is really a goal, but which one is more likely to happen? On a side note, you are the only one who even knows about the deadline. If you break your back and have to stay in the hospital past your deadline, don't stress. Focus on recovering quickly and set a new deadline when you're completely healed. In other words, when there's a really big setback, it is not the end of the world. Deadlines—at least when you're setting them for yourself—are there to help you, not to cause you undue anxiety. Okay?
Now this is my favorite part of goal-setting: fantasize. No, seriously. Sit your kids down to an 'Eyewitness' movie. Pop some popcorn—it really does add to the mood—and settle back to dream about yourself achieving your goal. Focus. Can you see it? It's a huge group of people…and there's you. You're standing by a huge bonfire made of public school textbooks. Wait…there's something missing. Ah. It's the sight of the skin that public schooling teenage females show.
Fade out scene slowly, eat large handful of popcorn.
You're at a family reunion. You see Great-Aunt Bertha coming towards you. Your kids don't pale, and Great-Aunt doesn't ask them what grade they're in now.
Fade out scene slowly, eat large handful of popcorn.
You're standing in the White House. The President has just put a medal around your neck, and is saying something like, "For his/her persistence in removing our miserable, pathetic "education system" and contributing to the education of thousands of children…"
Fade out scene abruptly; realize that your two-year-old has just dumped your bowl of popcorn on your clean floor.
Is it too much? Don't ask me, I'm just your friendly neighborhood teen columnist. Only you can decide how far you want to take your daydreams. If the Great-Aunt Bertha one would satisfy you for life, fine. Or you can go straight for the President one. Whatever floats your boat.
Now the most important and most neglected part of goal-setting: PERSIST PERSIST PERSIST! Forgive the all-caps, I had to get the message across somehow. I can't promise you that you'll achieve your goal. But there is one thing I can tell you: if you give up, you'll never reach it. Sort of a cliché, no? But true, as quite a few clichés are.
In summary:
Know what you want to achieve.
Write it down. Write down why, write down what you'd gain.
Figure out what might stand in your way. Plan a way to eliminate any obstructions.
Set at least a tentative deadline. And no, 'before the Millennium' doesn't count.
Daydream about achieving the goal. The popcorn is not strictly necessary.
And don't give up, dang it.
Disclaimer: Please note that goals should be realistic.
Happy goal-setting, people. And, I hope, happy goal-achieving. Parting is such sweet sorrow, dear readers. I am going now.... I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have a Sonata to practice.
by Jenn Young
I owe huge thanks to http://www.about-goal-setting.com Basically, I took their ideas and rewrote them. I don't claim any of these ideas.