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But When Do I Get To
Clean the House?
By Heather Martinson
"But when do I get to clean the house?" is a question that every
homeschooling mom seems to ask from time to time.
Soon after the birth of my second child, I remember suddenly feeling very
overwhelmed. With a newborn and a toddler, I could hardly get anything done
outside of feeding and changing the little ones. Most frustrating to me
was that our home was not as clean as I would have liked it to be.
During this time of frustration, I was the Achievement Days leader and we
had a slumber party at the home of one of the girls. The house was clean
when we arrived, and I wondered how this mother could have five children and a
clean house at the same time. Looking for answers, I asked her how she did
it. She looked me squarely in the eyes and said, "I don't".
I didn't understand her response at first, but as the night wore on, I
understood. (You know, when we pulled the cushions off the couch and there
were
old crusts of bread under there). This was a paradigm shift for me. That
night, I learned that cleaning house might not be as important as I had
thought. I decided that doing my best is good enough and I don't need to
beat myself up over not being superhuman.
Today, looking back, I realize that those were the simple times for me! Now
with teenagers and little ones, life's a lot more complicated. I am drowning
with responsibility. Sometimes cleaning house is a luxury. Fortunately, I
can share that luxury with my teenagers.
Over the years, I have done a study of housework and time management skills
in order to make the best use of my time and stay on top as much as
possible. The biggest help is to remember priorities. I see that the
most important things get done first, even if nothing else is accomplished.
The following ideas are a potpourri some of the things I have learned and
used.
Over twenty years ago, my mom came up with a system of priorities that I
have used to help me organize my time.
What she did was to categorize every
activity in our lives into six basic areas and list them in priority
order. She gave a color to each area. They are:
- Red - Spiritual Strength
Daily personal prayer and scripture study. Learn to rely on the Holy Ghost.
- Orange - Personal Health
You need to be healthy physically and mentally in order to be at your own
peak performance.
- Yellow - Eternal Family
Nourish your family physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Family
scripture study, family prayer, family outings, family home evening, family
councils, interviews, etc. Anything that will strengthen your family.
- Green - Temporal Stewardship Taking care of the things the Lord
has blessed you with. This includes your home, your money, your natural
surroundings.
- Blue - Divine Mission
In this category you identify what special purpose you were placed here on
earth for and
work to fulfill that purpose. For most of us, at this stage in our lives,
our
special purpose is to be a mother in Zion. This could also include a career
if necessary.
- Purple - Compassionate Service
This category includes callings, community service, genealogy, missions,
etc.
You might think it is strange that compassionate service is last, but that
is the summation of our earthly goals, isn't it?
Many of us don't do service
because our lives are not in order. We don't have the time or resources to
contribute to the Kingdom in the way we would like. Therefore, serving is
the crowning opportunity that we have when our lives are in order, but we
should not do it at the expense of our health, time with our children.
Yet at the same time, we should not wait until we are perfect in order to
give back.
Also, all of the areas have overlapping points and all effect one another.
You will
notice that taking care of our homes is fourth on the list. We don't want a
sparkling clean home that the Spirit has not been invited into. However, it
is important for our spiritual and emotional needs and those of our
families to have a clean home. Therefore, cleaning becomes something you do
to help yourself be happy, and an experience you share with your children.
My mom is now gearing up to share this
system with the world, including a book to
explain it all in greater detail. To learn
more about it, watch for announcements on
her website: www.spectrumliving.com. All the time management
books I've read say that you must have "to do" lists every day. I'm sure
they work, but I don't have the time to make that list every day!
Instead, I
have made a monthly schedule and included all the activities that I do in a
typical month. Then I bought a magnetic white board and put all my regular
activities onto magnetic tiles. I made the white board up to represent one
week. I place all my activities on the board at the time they are scheduled.
My weeks don't change that drastically, so many activities will already be
in place from the week before. However, when something does come up, I
remove the tile from that time slot and write in the new activity. Then I
can reschedule the preempted activity or choose to skip it.
This board is
visible to the whole family because much of what I do involves the children
-- our meals, school time, quiet time, etc. Also, once I finish an activity,
I can glance up at the board and immediately know what to do next. Years ago
I put together menus for a month of meals. This is
everything except for my main dishes for dinner, which I add weekly. If I
didn't have menus to go by, I would probably spend an hour every evening
agonizing over what we'll have until I finally give up and make macaroni and
cheese.
I use grocery lists and only shop once a week. When I go more often I feel
like I've failed.
I keep magnetic lists on the refrigerator for regular
groceries, Sam's Club, and other errands.
Besides my year's supply (that will someday be complete), I try to keep
generous supplies on hand. Things go on the list before they run out. For
example, I buy toilet paper in bulk. When a person opens the last box of 45
rolls, that person must put "TP" on the Sam's list. We haven't run out of
toilet paper in years. No emergency runs to the store! I do the same for
anything that can be safely stored on my shelves. I have even been able to
skip grocery shopping for weeks at a time.
I'm not an aggressive bargain shopper. I did bargain shopped before
I had kids, but once they came along I no longer had time to look at ads,
clip coupons, and go to several stores. For years I felt guilty for not
making the most out of my money. Eventually I learned that my time is more
valuable than my money. Even if I am spending a little extra on food, I am
buying more time.
One of my more recent book finds is Speed Cleaning by Jeff Campbell. Jeff
Campbell is a professional house cleaner. In
his book, he teaches us how a team of three
can do the weekly housecleaning in 48
minutes. To learn more about this method, go
to: www.cleanteam.com. It's great for families.
One thing that helps so that the house doesn't get so messy in the first
place is that I don't let the children have all their toys at once. I keep
the toys where the children can't get them, except for the ones I get out
for them. That way, cleanup is never an entire toy box.
Now, I hope I haven't given you the impression that I am Wonder Woman. The house is still dirtier than I
wish, but I am resigned to the fact that the day I put something down and it
isn't
touched before I come back for it, is the day I will realize that I no
longer have my little ones.
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and
Babies don't keep.
(Song for a Fifth Child, by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton)
In summary, a poem of my own:
A clean house is great, but my children are greater.
Housework can wait, to my children will I cater.
Reading, writing, arithmetic, cleaning, scrubbing, shopping,
Label me a lunatic, this mother is not stopping!
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